Gemma Oaten
Gemma Oaten is an actress, presenter, and eating disorder advocate, best known for her role in Coronation Street and her powerful voice in the mental health space. Having battled a...
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Who are you?
Hi, I am Gemma Oaten. I am an actress, a TV and radio presenter. I'm also the CEO of seed eating and disorder support services. And most importantly, I'm a whole girl. That's Hull, HULL, not all. And I am the dog mom of Ruby Tuesday, who is my 8-year-old Poodle and the love of my life.
When did your eating disorder first become apparent?
My eating disorder first developed when I was probably at the end of my ninth year going into 10 years old. I was a very happy go lucky young girl. I was a bit of a tomboy. I had a Buller haircut, a bit like Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumber, if you've seen that. And I felt like I didn't have a care in the world. And then over the six week holidays when I was in, I was probably about nine years old in year five, I spoke to my mum about wanting to dress a bit more Gail. I was always in my shorts and my T-shirt and my trainers and a bit more like the other girls in the playground in their little dresses with their pigtails. And mum was like, yeah, no, absolutely. So over the summer I kind of went through this growth spare and I came back to school and I had my hair cut in a girly hairstyle. I had my little gingham dress on, which is like the checked dress, if you dunno what I mean by that. And my mum had made it, and I remember feeling really proud and as though I was kind of blossoming. But with that came the green a monster. And I started to get bullied at school. And I remember thinking that it was my fault that I was being bullied and I couldn't stop what they were doing. I couldn't control the hurt that they were inflicting on me. And it wasn't physical, it was verbal. I remember thinking if I can't control what they're saying or doing to me, there's something that I can control. And that was my food. I didn't really understand the context of it then, and I didn't really understand what anorexia was. But that was the first time that I started to look in mirror and see myself very differently. I vividly remember getting out of the bath one day, and mom and dad used to wrap me in a towel as I got out of the bath and I didn't want them to. I remember flinching and them saying to me, Gemma, what's wrong? And I just remember the words coming out of nowhere and saying, mom, dad, and my fat. And that was kind of the day that everything changed really.
What were some of the early warning signs that others might have missed?
I think myself and my mom and dad were fiercely close. I had three siblings, but there was a bit of an age gap, probably about 10 years between my brother, 11, between my sister and 12. Between my older sister. I was planned, but there was a big age gap, so that kind of meant that my sister and brother were off at high school going out, and I was still very much at home with my mom and dad. And because of that, we became so close and I think the warning signs for them, having discussed them post what happened was that my dad always says that a light went out in my eyes, and it's like he explains it that I became a prisoner in my own mind. So it wasn't physical at first. It wasn't like I just lost a load of weight. It was them seeing their daughter who was outgoing, always at sports club, always teacher's pet, always prancing around on stage, wanting to be the lead in a musical. All of that just disappeared. I didn't want to go to after school activities. I didn't want to stay over at my friends anymore. I became a shell of my former self, really, and I think those were the warning signs that something was wrong. My mum and dad especially.