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Brian McDermott

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Brian McDermott is a former professional football player and coach, who is currently the director of football at Hibernian. Brian talks very openly about his struggles with alcohol...

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What is your biggest achievement?

My biggest achievement is getting sober and remaining sober in the last eight years, and I got sober on the 16th of February, 2015.

How did you feel when you got Reading promoted to the PL?

I felt relieved it happened. I thought it was going to change my life. I thought that I was going to feel so much better about myself. It wasn't necessarily the answer to me feeling better about myself, but the game itself, we played Nottingham Forest, the whistle went, we'd won the game. I put my arms around Nigel Gibbs, my assistant manager, had that relief of winning, knew it was done. And I went out that night and I woke up the next morning and I didn't feel any different.

How did losing a game affect you?

The losing for me was a lot worse than the winning was great. I really suffered with losing, and one of the ways of coping for me was to have a drink after a game. Unfortunately, for me, the winning, the losing and the drawing all became the same, and there was that numbness that I felt after having a drink after games.

What was your most memorable moment as a player?

Were you open about how you felt when you were a manager?