Lee Grant - Men's Sexual Health
Lee Grant is Onebright's Clinical Director and founded Efficacy in 2003. He is a BABCP accredited CBT therapist. Lee provides independent cognitive behavioural therapy to individua...
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What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is when a man comes too quickly. Usually that can be from a couple of seconds or to a couple of minutes, but generally it is when premature ejaculation starts to become a problem in our lives where we may start to avoid sex or overthinking it and stops us from enjoying a sexual experience.
Is there anything I can do to stop premature ejaculation?
If you notice that premature ejaculation is becoming a problem and it's persistent, then it's time to start to think about doing some things differently. Our sexual response is how we, it's not just a physical response, it's an emotional response. It's a psychological response. So it's trying to tune into what are the difficulties that cause premature ejaculation for you. But generally speaking, what happens is that a man becomes focused on the destination and they're focused on coming, which takes away the enjoyment of what they're actually doing. So in a way, what we want to do is not focus on the destination, but focus on the journey. That means focus on the sensations, the feelings, what's happening as you're leading towards sexual arousal, or when you're within sexual arousal, be that on your own or with somebody else.
Does premature ejaculation only affect young men?
Premature ejaculation can affect any man at any stage of his life. It doesn't usually come on quite suddenly. It usually comes on over a long periods of time, and that's because sex is a habit. And as our lifestyle changes either stresses or strains or relationships, we start to do things differently. If we take the focus away from actually enjoying sex and we just start to focus on coming too quickly, or that's what happens, we end up coming too quickly when we're focusing on the destination. But usually what happens, it starts off quite early in life, usually in adolescence where young men start to, as they start to masturbate, might be focusing on trying to come very quickly, either because of being a home and not want to be disturbed. But those habits progress as they move into adulthood and into relationships.